Plate of Cycling: Sisters CAN Give You Windburn

     I recently gave myself windburn after picking up cycling for the first time. If you don’t know what that is, if you ride around crusty AF in the freezing winter with no protection you’re going to dehydrate your skin and look like baked parmesan. I suppose it became a hyperfocus of mine, but let me bring you to the beginning. My older sister, not the one we don’t speak about, my lovely older cool rich sister is one of my inspirations. She’s gifted with words and incredibly passionate. She’s a very cool person and I don’t mean that as a synonym to awesome or rad. She’s not warm or hot (badum tss) or cold. She’s cool.

    She loves at a distance and most people don’t understand this. Growing up when she was awake I’d smother her, because that’s how I knew how to love. This of course annoyed her, but I’d rather take a beating from her than not hear from her at all. And as I watched her withdraw from the world, I realized she needed to be loved at a distance. So, when she left for college, I didn’t hear from her for like 2-3 years. No text, no call, no visit. It didn’t hurt me the way it hurt the people that didn’t understand her. She needed the space to be herself and she knew when it was best to come back on her terms. So, when she did, I didn't love her the same. In a changed way, I came to love her in an entirely foreign manner. When she was drunk I saw her. 22, laughing, and lost. Effortlessly cool. My younger sister and I would remove her eyelashes and put her to bed, leaving a glass of water next to the bed just in case she needed it.

     Fast forward about 4 years later, and I am in her house. Yeah! A house! A house she has with her fiance who is the opposite of cool. He’s a warm kinda guy, but in a good way. He’s great with her. They’re effortlessly the goal. So, with a sleepover planned, I crashed into their cool guest bed with a cool guest pillow and woke up at 3am like an extremely thirsty guest. On the dresser next to me was a cup of cool water. Cool (synonymous this time!) I giggled and then slorped that water down like it owed me rent back payments. And then it hit me. 22, laughing, and lost… And here she was, loving at a distance.

    Anyways, my sister recently got a bike for her early Christmas gift, because she’s rich and awesome. She’s been cycling and loves it. We used to ride outside for hours so I thought why not give it another go? How can I be more cool like her? I fixed up the old bike my mom traded for a cigarette at the airport and hopped on. It was amazing honestly. Morning and night, I rode and timed it. I flew by and flew by. And I was crushing it. Until I got wind burn. MY GOODNESS LOOK AT MY SKIN! MY PIMPLY PORCELAIN SKIN! It started peeling. And the worst part of all. I have to go see my in-laws next week. So, now I look like a skin peeling lizard monster with uber chaffed raw lips and cheeks. And I haven’t even seen them in like 3 years. So now it's gonna be worse.

    Moral of the story…my cool sister gave me windburn by selling me the idea that riding a bike was going to change my life. And I bought it. Price = skin. So the next time someone offers you a ride on their bike, consider the windburn they had to get to make it look SO cool and fun. You might ruin your skin barrier in the process.  Until then – Pass the plate, I’m hungry for more information.

-KSF”